In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
