U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
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He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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