I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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