Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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