Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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