Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
