dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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