At least make sure they are 18
Why
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
