I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I will be naked everywhere
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize