yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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