He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
