it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
