I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
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its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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