Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
