Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
