i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
