I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
