lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
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you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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