some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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