What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Soap is not a condiment
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
