Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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