you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
