I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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