So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
