He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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