woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
