the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
