We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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