i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize