i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
