It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
