she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
this is an emotional support booty call
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
