i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
