like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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