You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
