If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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