I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There r osticjed everywhere
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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