We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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