last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
