This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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