I'm pants shitting drunk right now
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
There's always time for handjobs
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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