Can i not drive my cunt home
Just fell off a train. Bad.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize