About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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