I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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