Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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