I can't watch pbs sober anymore
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
