Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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