in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My ass is underappreciated
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
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