i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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