It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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