good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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