I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
