Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize