he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
should my penis look like a turkey
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
