I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
