I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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