after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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