Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Boobs are out for the taking
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
