3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
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