like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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