we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
