i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
