I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
