I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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