reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
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I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
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