i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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