This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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